A while ago I was asked to speak at a conference on dementia. I have a condition called Mild Cognitive Impairment. The request came with very little advance notice. It was my first public speaking event, and as events unfolded, nearly my last. As I stood to make the opening remarks to this very large audience of the great and the good there was a long silence; my mind had gone, completely blank. Whatever thoughts were passing between my ears, they resolutely refused to fall out of my mouth.
Gradually a nervous giggle started to bubble up in the room. The giggling increased and soon broke out into a wonderfully hilarious rolling laughter... And then it came; I simply said the first thing that entered my mind. "Welcome!" I paused. But by this time the laughter was beginning to subside and I could clearly see they were on my side, probably a bit grateful for the opportunity to laugh; "Welcome!" I repeated and I looked out of the window. "Welcome to the Dementia Underground Resistance Charm Offensive!" I said. Heaven alone knows why. They roared approval, some applause broke out, a few rose to their feet, the rest soon followed. I grinned sheepishly at them like a loon. Blind panic gripped me; how on earth would I ever be able to follow that?
As an object lesson in what can happen when 'word finding' starts to become difficult, this was not a bad start. Feeling that, with such encouragement, some further risk taking might be in order; I mistakenly thought I could do no wrong and I promptly launched into a completely impromptu and rather rambling stream of consciousness. Anecdote after pointless anecdote presented themselves to my poor little addled brain with barely any semblance of order to them. I completely failed to see the 'wind up signal' from the conference time keeper.
"Aha!" I said with needless dramatic emphasis. "The time has come..." At which point I tailored off for an equally dramatic pause while my mind searched again for something good to close with. "... ... for each of you to sign up as the founding members of the Dementia Underground Resistance Charm Offensive!" They leapt to their feet for another prolonged and enthusiastic spontaneous standing ovation and, at a stroke, my baptism by fire as a public speaker was finally over.
Of course I had wanted to say a great deal about very serious subjects. I wanted to explain my 'word finding difficulties' and my 'face blindness' and my Mild Cognitive Impairment. I wanted to protest the complete lack of a life journey pathway for people diagnosed with dementia; I wanted to advocate for post diagnostic support for people living with dementia. I wanted to ask why the world's fifth largest economy could not look after the most vulnerable of it's older citizens.
People started slapping my back as I stumbled off the platform and out to the foyer. Then they started to shake my hand. Some even hugged me! Over coffee a sort of queue formed as one-by-one people came over to chat. Some had anecdotes of their own, loved ones with dementia they were caring for, others asked for advice about their own disordered memory and chaotic brain function. At lunch I didn't get a chance to pass a morsel between my lips. Pledges, promises, offers, suggestions, and solidarity like tsunami waves of fellow feeling washed over me.
Human beings are wonderfully made. We are not simply another herd animal on the evolutionary curve. We are hard wired to want to connect. We are capable of symphonies. We are capable of poetry. We are capable of balletic leaps into the unknown. We are full of optimism. We are full of compassion. We are full of altruism. We are full of incredible resourcefulness. We are mercifully merciful. We are capable of great kindnesses!
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